my time with jedism

 Copyright:

 Star Wars is owned by Disney and Lucas films

brevity and ethics: 

I have no association with Star Wars, Disney or the jedi temple

A long time ago, in a Californian suburb far away. A young high school boy was trying to find himself. So many religions and factions to explore. In his ventures he found out about Jedism. That boy was me. In my life, I've tried to explore who I am and what I want to be and still am. I found myself in a cringy quest to become a Jedi.  

I think every person even in their oldest of ages is trying to discover who they are. And in my quest to do that I became a little bit cringey. After my failed attempt to become a Buddhist, I found myself wanting to join Californa’s Jedi temple and become a padawan. Even though I had no way of going there and officially joining, I still wanted to feel like I was part of the crowd. I did not have any officially bidding or anything like that anyways so it wouldn't have mattered, but in my brain i assumed that if i did all of this now i could speed my way into being an official jedi. 

So, I did what anyone would do. I started following the guidelines and calling myself a jedi. The guidelines were just copy paste of what the movies had, so it was easy enough. The Jedi religion is a weird one to follow due to the rules being based solely on what the author thinks it should go, but there usually is a main four which I attempted to follow were:

video by: The Bow Tie

I was really cringey about it too. It wasn’t something I did for myself. But i made everyone around me know i was a jedi or wanting to be a jedi. Even on myspace i mentioned it a lot and it feels like i was isolating myself and alienating those around me. I reached out to those I actually still talk to in high school for some form of hindsight and to see how they felt about it. But they have yet to respond. It was bad enough that I even bothered my crush about it in an inane attempt to prove I was cool in front of her and her boyfriend. It was a mess. 

I say attempted because I failed around the start. I was a moody and very emotional teenager. So not following my emotions wasn't going to work. Human beings are emotional things by nature. Good emotions such as happiness, and even bad ones like sadness are what run us. We’re not robots that run off of logic and reasoning so not being able to run off emotion was a really big challenge for me. 

 Now the ignorant one was the easiest to follow for me personally. I’ve always seen anyone as deserving equality and equal rights for the most part. People deserve to be happy and live as they see fit in my eyes. The only people who I believe do not deserve equality were pedophiles and rapists. 

Passion is something that humans show to show they are interested in it. You have to be passionate about doing something. Something like a religion needs passion. And I was very passionate about becoming a Jedi. and that was my downfall. 

As a teen I just wanted somewhere to fit in and belong.  being able to carve my own path. But I didn't think of any form of outcome, just wanting to belong. I didn't think it was going to alienate others and just became a cringey mess. 

In the end. My journey to become a jedi only lasted around 6 months and it did not go as far as i was hoping for. My emotional strength, my passion and will overcame my need for wanting to be part of something.  And my quest self-discovery led me down a cringey rabbit hole. While I respect the people who do follow the Jedi religion I myself could not do it and was cringy trying to do it.